He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You are the jesus of drinking
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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