i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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