You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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