Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
