I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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