whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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