yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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