I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
