Sponge bath it is.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
