i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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