I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize