I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
