He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
