just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
