good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
