I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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