GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
