new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
