I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
