someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
