This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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