i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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