Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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