If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
