i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
