Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
