rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
