no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
