I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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