This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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