All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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