guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize