And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
