Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
