If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
