So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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