I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
