if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
