Got a toothbrush?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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