So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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