Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
