So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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