if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
