i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize