She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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