babies were throwing up all over the place
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize