So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
