awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
