im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
