so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
