To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
