Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
