singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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