She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
