I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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