Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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