Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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