I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
