Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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