You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
