Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize