I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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