It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
